


land of love

by saidie456



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Cheating, F/M, M/M, Unhappy marriage, afftected children, coming out the closet, first real love, holiday to italy, ill tag more later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-21
Updated: 2013-09-11
Packaged: 2017-12-24 06:18:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/936402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saidie456/pseuds/saidie456
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek hale is in a very unhappy marriage, but has two amazing kids to come out of it, so he cant regret it.<br/>but when Kate fins out Derek was cheating on her, she ships them off to Italy for two weeks to get him away from the women. But what she didn't count on was Derek falling in love, in love with a man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have some sort of idea where im going with this... I think...  
> oh, and if you see any mistakes, pls let me know so I can fix them... I do try to prof read it, but I always miss things out...

"Derek, stay here for a bit. We've barely seen each other in ages", Jenifer patted the bed next to her, attempting to entice him in.

"I can't, it's Joshs' birthday tomorrow, I need to go shopping". Derek said in reply, sitting on the edge of the bed, putting on his shirt, not even bothering to look at her.

"Yeah, well, when you leave your wife we could both go shopping together for Joshs' birthday next year. God Derek, think about it". She said dreamily, as she stretched on the bed smiling. "We could actually go out in public together, just you and me holding hands and doing simple things like going to the suppermarket and not raising eyebrows". She smiled at Dereks stiff back as he said nothing.

To the rest of the world, it was pretty obvious that Derek would not be leaving his wife for her. But for a broken woman with barley anything, hope is everything.

It becomes cruel in a sense, how Derek is toying with her. But he doesn't care, not really.

*

"Derek, can you take the trash out". It wasn't a question, it was an order. So there was no point answering her. He hadn't been in the doorway for two seconds and she was already bossing him around. It was sexy when he was younger, but now... Not so much. He hasn't even hid Joshs' present yet since he hasn't made it into the house. But since when would such a novel notion bother Kate. She just buys him an expensive game console or something as equally expensive and leaves it on the side for him.

Derek never thought that was right, half the fun of presants on birthdays was trying to find them hidden around the house on the days working up to it, and the feeling that you get when you get to open your presants, all nicely wrapped, to reveal what's inside. That's what Derek misses the most about being a kid.

Once he's taken the trash out and hidden the presents, all of a gold chain with J.H embroidered on it and a new Xbox game, he walked into the bedroom to find Kate sitting at her vanity table, applying a new coat of make-up.

"I'm going out tonight with Gary, so I need you to watch the kids". She glanced at him coldly through the mirror. Derek just sighed in annoyance. The dinners with her boss seemed to be taking over his life, and it did cross his mind that they were probably doing more than eating, but who was he to judge. He just wished that he could have a night to himself which doesn't involve babysitting, not that he didn't mind doing it, he loved his kids, both of them. But he got tired of how Kate only used him as her own personal child care system, free of charge.

"You know why these meetings are improtant Derek, if I get this promotion it will mean more money-"

"For your modeling career, I know". Derek stared at her. "And it would also mean longer hours, and more time away from the kids". He didn't care about how it ment more time away from him, he would be grateful for that, but the kids need a mom more than he would like to get away from her.

"They're kids, they don't care as long as Josh gets his games and Abbie has her Itunes vouchers. So I don't know why you try an baby them Derek, the sooner they learn that we aren't going to be there all the time, the better. They'll thank us for it later"

'No they wont' Derek thought to himself. And he knew that he was always going to be there for his kids, whenever they needed him he would be there, no matter what Kate said.

*

It was ten passed eleven when Abbie emerged from her bedroom and waltzed into the front room where Derek was sitting on the sofa watching TV with Joshs head rested in his lap as he slept.

"Mom gone out"? Abbie dropped onto the sofa taking her ear plugs out and causing josh to stir ontop of him. Abbie pulled a face of guilt at this, they both knew josh hadn't been sleeping right for days, and none of them knew why, but they were both under the illusion that if Josh wanted to talk to them, he would.

"Yeah" Derek sighed, looking down at the floor.

Abbie leaned over and put her hand over her dads arm in reassurance. "I'll put him in bed for you". She smiled shyly, indicating at a now snoring josh.

Derek smiled back at her.

*

Derek was almost asleep when he heard the front door slam, which normally meant Kate was drunk. "Great" Derek muttered to himself as he got out of bed and walked into the front room where the noise was coming from.

But she wasn't, not this time. She was angry.

"You bastard, you complete fucking bastard. How could you, you lying, cheating piece of shit". And if Derek didn't know what she was talking about before, he did now. Suprisingly though, he didn't care. He couldn't find it in himself to give a dam that she found out.

"How"? Was all derek said, as expressionlessly as he could.

"How, HOW? That blond cow came into the restaurant with your underwear in her hand, telling me to give them back". That blond cow, as she referred to, was Erica. Number two of two on his list.

The difference between Erica and Jenifer though, was that Erica wasn't in it for anything other than sex, she gave him her body, and he did the same in return. And jenifer? Well she gave him her heart, and that, that he just couldn't return.

"You've embarrassed me. Do you realise that? Gary was with me. My image is tainted because of you, you asshole. You've ruined my career". Derek knew she wouldn't loose anything, if 'Gary' still had a working penis, then she was still secure in her job. And she knew it too, she just wanted a stronger argument.

She barged passed him and stomped up the stairs, Derek knew there was no point in chasing after her and begging for her fogiveness. He didn't want it, so he just layed down on the couch and went to sleep.

He just hoped that the kids didn't hear. It would break his heart if Abbie and Josh thought lower of him.

*

He woke up to the TV blaring and a heavy weight on his legs.

"Josh, get off him, you'll wake him up". Derek heard Abbie whisper loudly, trying to maneuver his heavy son off him without waking him up.

"Josh come on! He's probably tired, he didn't even go to bed last night". Derek just assumed that's what it looked like. Abbie had left him on the sofa when she went to bed, so she probably would have assumed he hadn't moved. "You can watch TV in my room until they're awake". It felt like Josh was about to get off until Derek graced the early morning with his presence.

He grabbed Josh sideways and pulled him into a tight squeeze. Nailing him between himself and the back sofa cusions. "Too late. Happy birthday Joshy". Derek smiled as she planted kisses all over his sons face and tickled him in the ribs.

"Ugh Dad, don't call... Dad stop I... Dad, ple-...Oh my god you're so... Stop it...". He kept trying to be serious, but his laughter and giggles sent all that down the drain. That's what Derek loved abut his kids, it didn't matter how miserable he was, just hearing the laughter of one of his kids and being the reason for it, made evrything seem more worth it.

"You guys are such kids". Derek looked over at Abbie, who was trying to hide her own smile with her hands, her messy honey brown hair getting all in her face.

"Hold on". Derek said, as he got up off the sofa and walked over to the TV stand where they stored all their DVDs and games, reached behind all the visible ones and pulled out two wrapped up preasants. Joshs' face lit up immediately.

"Open this one first". Derek handed the first one over to his son as he sat back on the sofa. It was obvious it was some sort of game just by the box, but that didn't stop Joshs' look of suprise when he saw what was inside. "Thanks dad, Iv'e been wanting this game for weeks", he smiled gleefully at the game.

"We know, you haven't shut up about it". Abbie groaned dramatically as she sat at the other end of the sofa. But Josh was too happy and mesmerised to argue with his sister.

"And this". Derek handed the other wrapped present to Josh. "Is very special, so you need to look after it". Josh studied it and nodded solemnly.

He undid it carefully to reveal a red velvet box held together with a bow. He undid the bow and opened the box to reveal a solid gold chain. Josh looked at it in awe.

Derek picked it up, undoing the clip and positioning it around his neck. "My farther bought me a gold chain for my twelth birthday, and his dad before him". Derek peered at Abbie as she stared at the chain just as Derek had fastened it.

"JH" Josh read off one of the loops. He looked around at his dad, almost with tears in his eyes. "Thanks dad" he cried as he flung himself at Derek who hugged him tighter.

*

Over breakfast, which consisted of pancakes with strawberries, bacon and chocolate sauce, Joshs' favorite, Kate finally walked down the stairs.

She had black patches all round her eyes and stained teeth from her lipstick from where she didn't remove her make up the night before.

"Morning Mom". Both kids grumbled. Out of both their parents, it was clear that Derek was their favorite, Kate didn't care, she wasn't a maternal person, But Derek did. And he loved it.

As soon as the kids looked at her she smiled, wide and bright. That wasn't right. She was screaming at him only a few hours ago. Derek watched as she pulled the games console off the kitchen side, that Josh had already seen a million times and got over the amazement of owning a long time ago, but still made an effort to smile.

"There's another part to your present". Kate smiled at him. This was new, She hadn't told Derek about another present.

"I thought we could all use a break, to get away from here". She peered at Derek, "So last night I booked us a holiday and tonight we're all flying out to Italy". She grinned even harder at the kids.

They seemed shocked, not only was their Mom smiling at this time in the morning, but she 'appeared' to be making an effort fot Joshs' birthday. They were skeptical, and Derek saw right through it.

She was trying to get him away from Jenifer and Erica, but what she doesn't know is that he doesn't care about them, not really. She wouldn't believe him even if he told her.

"Go on then, pack your suitcases, they're in the shed. And remeber, it's hot. Oh, and pack enough clothes for two weeks". She called at the stairs as the kids dissapeared up them.

Kate just turned back to Derek and smirked at him as if she'd won something, but he didn't know what.

One thing Kate didn't know though, was that this holiday, was going to ruin more things for her than just her make up.


	2. Chapter 2

The airport was crazy, it was the summer holidays, so it was bound to be. They arrived at the airport at twenty to eight, but their departure wasn't until half past eleven.

And the flight was just over thirteen hours long.

She couldn't have picked a nice short flight, to New York maybe, or Washington. Somewhere within the US. He could probably deal with that more than having to sit in a flight, over night, for thirteen bloody hours! Kate really did want to get him away from Beacon Hills, but Italy...?

She was serious if she was doing this, Kate hates flying! So to voluntary sit on a plane for thirteen hours, with crap food, no drinking and no phone... Yeah, she was serious.

But in some ways, maybe she was right. Maybe he was just cheating on her because he was bored or something. He didn't think that was the reason, he always assumed the reason he did it was to find something out or something.

But isn't that what most people think when they're cheating on someone, So maybe he did just feel trapped and bored.

Maybe a holiday was good then. And Derek had always wanted to travel one day, Italy wasn't on the list but he could live with it. The Land of love, maybe he and Kate could... Yeah, forget that. That's not going to happen anytime soon. But it'll be good for the kids.

The kids, who were trailing behind their Mom, still as confused as they were when she first told them. They knew something was up, Kate was never the person to book a five star all inclusive holiday to Italy due to leave in a few hours because she wanted to do something nice for her kids. No, they knew their Mom was up to something, they just didn't know what.

And if Derek could keep it that way, he would.

*

Once they had checked in, had their suitcases weighed and taken away and gone through passport control, they found a bar near the duty free shops.

It wasn't exactly amazing but it was nice, the prices were another story though, but the kids liked it there.

And Kate certainly did by the amount she was pouring down her throat. Derek did mention she didn't like flights, good. If he was going to suffer, so was she.

They sat at a little table while Josh played on his Ds and Abbie was listening to her Ipod, so Derek took the oppitunity to talk to Kate.

"Kate". Derek whispered over the other side of the table. She turned to look at him, pupils dilated and her mouth slurring. This was Kate, or to be more accurate, this was Tipsy Kate. At least she wasn't drunk yet.

"Can I talk to you, in private"? None of the kids made any movement to signify they heard what Derek had said, but he knew they werent stupid. They heard him.

She got up and walked out of the bar and back into the main airport, not exactly private, but at least the kids wont be able to hear. And Derek didn't really think a few guys with briefcases, an old couple and a three year old sitting on the public seats were going to care what they were saying.

"Ok, so why the sudden holiday"? Derek knew the answer, he just wanted to hear it from her.

"Why? Oh Derek, can't I do something nice for my huspand and kids"? Maybe she was more drunk than he thought.

Or maybe not, she looked at him, with a twisted smile. "I forgive you Derek, I do. I now see that my work had pushued you to do such terrible things, I pushed you. I'm sorry Derek, I forgive you. It's not your fault, your just a man, you can't help what your dick thinks when I'm not around". Derek watched her intently, it was as if she actually believed her own words, like she blamed herself. Derek couldn't think of a single word to say to her.

"That's why we all need a break. We can spend time together, like a real family, like we're meant to. Away from..."

Derek didn't need to guess who Kate was talking about, her face said it all. But luckily she only knew about Erica, and not Jenifer. If Kate knew that he had slept with a woman who thought he was going to leave her for Jenifer, she would go mental. And that was deffinately going to be worse than drunk Kate and angry Kate put together.

*

They were all sitting on the plane by eleven twenty, waiting to taxi onto the runway. Derek was by the window, then Josh, then Abbie, then the aisle break, then Kate. On the boarding passes, Kate was meant to be sitting next to Josh and him on his own, but neither Josh nor Abbie wanted that.

As the plane started to start up and begin to Taxi, Derek handed a piece of Gum to the kids, making sure they moved their mouth when the plane went up and their ears popped. It was their first time on a plane, so he couldn't help but be a little worried for them, even if he knew it was perfictly safe. Well, if the hostesses denostation was anything to go by.

Once they got onto the runway and the engines started to boost up, Abbies' face was a picture. Around other people, Abbie would be perceived as one of those 'I hate everyone' kind of people, the ones who sit on the computer all day and listen to rock music by bands he had never heard about before. But in reality, she was just a sixteen year old girl. She had issues, temptations and fears, just like anyone else. And apparently being on a plane was one of those.

Derek reached his hand over passed Josh to hold her hand. "It's alright". She just looked at him with a look that conveyed 'are you mad'? and 'Im scared', she just nodded at him and relaxed a little.

Josh on the other hand, was excited. He hadn't taken the smile off his face since they got in to the taxi to go to the aripor t. Just a typical excitable puppy.

And Kate, well Derek didn't even bother to look at her. He could imgainewhat her face looked like already.

*

Well Derek was right. They were already seven hours in give or take, And he hated the bordem. Abbie was dead asleep, so was Kate, after she took some sleeping pills, and Josh was, well... Half asleep. Derek knew he hadn't been sleeping properly, but to see his twelve year old boy, leaning on his arm and almost in tears because he couldn't get to sleep broke Dereks heart. He asked the stewardess if he could give Josh a pill, but they couldn't give it to anyone under the age of 16. But a lady behind heard what was going on and had some night nurse in her bag. It doesn't make you go to sleep, but it does make you tired and drowsey.

And it worked... Kind of. It took about an hour, when people were starting to wake up. But he got to sleep, and that's the main point.

Derek hadn't slept until then either, but when Abbie found out that her dad had stayed up all night to watch over Josh she practically demanded he go to sleep. So he did. Only to wake up to Joshs' head in his lap and his legs on Abbies.

*

They landed at twelve thirty five in the afternoon. Everyone was glad to get off the plane, epecially Kate.

They passed through passport control and then collected their cases, after waiting for nearly an hour. And if Derek didn't smoke then, he sure wanted to after that ordeal.

They were put on a coach to transfer to their hotel, and that would take another hour. So they pretty much knew they were going to miss lunch, but it wasn't too bad. They bought breakfast on the plane. A microwaved bacon sandwhich. Not the nicest of foods, but it did it's job.

On the coach Kate slept again while him and the kids played rummy, Derek let them win. Well that's what he'll tell people.

They arrived at their hotel at quater passed three in the afternoon, it turns out they didn't miss lunch, it was still on for another forty five minutes. But no one was interested in it, they were more interested in getting to their room and unpacking.

A guy took their suitcases, all three of them, (Kate had her own, Derek had half plus all the cables, plucg sockets, shampoos and stuff, and the kids shared one), so Derek was basically forced to give him a tip, worth all of five dollars, up the room, on the third floor.

The room was nice, but Derek was a little confused as to why they were all in one room. Him and Kate always said when they were younger that if they went on holiday with kids they would have their own room, and the kids would share, so they could have time alone. So this was not Kate. This was down to the woman he saw break down in front of him back in the airport outside the bar.

When he looked over at her, she smirked at him as if to say 'see you get away from he now'. And that scared him.

They put all the suitcasses on the double bed and unpacked, Kate taking up nearly all the closet space.

By now the time was four o'clock and the kids were very eager to get down to the pool, so was Derek infact. The heat was killing him already.

Abbie went to go change in the toilet, and Josh went over to his own bed and stripped off his shirt and shorts, it turned out that he already had his swimming trunks on underneath everything for the whole journey.

Twenty minutes later, Derek and the kids were both ready to go down, but Kate was not. Usually Derek would say they would wait for her, so she wouldn't get pissed off. But not this time. They were on holiday and Derek wasn't going to let Kate get to him now.

"We'll meet you down stairs then". Derek said, grabbing the bag with the towels and sun cream in. She glared at him, but the kids suprised smiles were too much of  high for Derek to really care.

*

The pool wasn't crowded like he thought it would be, but he gathered it probably was eralier when it was hotter.

Josh was the first to dive in, literally. Abbie climbed down the ladder, taking the towel off from around her waist at the last moment. She was worried about her weight, she always had been. But there was no need to be in Dereks eyes. Maybe he was biased, but she wasn't fat, no where near, and she was eaxactly skinny either, she was... curvey? It was all because of Kate really, going on about how all guys love models and to be a model you have to be stick thin. Marilyn Monroe could argue that.

Derek was just about to join his kids when he saw him, just a guy standing at the other end of the pool talking to a bunch of middle aged women.

And Derek didn't like him, not one bit.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope a few of you will be picking up on Joshs' thoughts soon, and Abbies opinion will be made clear on Stiles soon.  
> Also, has anyone noticed one person Stiles hasn't met or seen?...

Derek had only seen this guy for not even five minutes, and there was something about him. He hated how he affected him, there was nothing unusually unique about him, and yet, somehow, he was finding his way into Dereks life. Within those (not even) five minutes, Derek couldn't decide weather he hated the guy for making an impact on him, or he intrigued him, made him want to find out more.

"Dad"? He looked down to see Abbie holding onto the edge on the pool by his feet, looking up at him, confused.

"I'm fine, I Just-"

"Hey". Derek turned around to see the guy standing next to him.

"Hi..." Derek said cautiously, not sure what the guy wanted.

"You're American"? The guy asked, and looked down at Abbie.

'Fuck No', was this guy trying to make a pass at his daughter?

"yeah, California, just got here". She said, smiling. 'Stop smiling Abbie, you're encouraging him. He's probably way older than you, and I will kill him if he lays a hand on you'!

Typical protective Dad.

"California? Dude, that's where I'm from. Well, was. It's nice to see another American around here. You here for two weeks or one"? He looked back at Derek. 'God, get your eyes off my daughter'!

"Two, look I-"

"I take it she's yours then"? The guy asked, hinting at Abbie who was now swimming off to the pool bar.

"Eer, yeah, and Josh, her brother is over-" He looked around the pool for his son, only to see him playing with a couple of boys in the middle, "Over there" Derek pointed at him, smiling as he did, noticing how he had already made friends, a problem he had back at home.

"Two, wow. That must be nice, having kids. So It's Josh and..."? The guy, who Derek still didn't know his name, looked over to Abbie.

"Abbie, she used to be Abbigale, but she hated it, so now she's just Abbie".

Wait, why was Derek telling him this? He didn't even know who this guy was.

"Josh and Abbie, cute. And you"?

"Eer... Derek"

"Eer Derek"? He smirked, "Well Eer Derek, I'm Stiles and I'm in charge of entertainment and activites. So you'll be seeing alot more of me in the future", The guy, Stiles, put his hand out for Derek to shake. He just looked at the hand, then gave in and shook it.

His skin was incredible, it was so soft and-

'Wait what'?

Stiles winked at Derek and walked off.

Derek was confused, was he trying to get to Abbie, by being friendly with Derek? What the hell was going on?

"Did you get any sun beds"? Kate asked, pulling Derek from his thoughts, not even looking up at him.

"Eer-" He looked around to see Josh had put the bag on a bed, with three empty beds next to it.

"Good" was all Kate said, then walked off.

*

They were in the pool for another two hours, 'we' being him and the kids, there was no way Kate would get in the pool. Not if it didn't come with bubbles, a heater and insceants.

But eventually they had to get out to get changed for dinner. Abbie was the first in the shower, making it clear her Mom would just have to wait, so Derek started to get his clothes together for the night.

"Who was that guy you were talking to earlier"? Josh asked, jumping onto the bed by the closet.

"Who"? Derek asked, not looking at him, he knew who he was talking about, he just wanted to play dumb abd hoped for once it would work.

"The American guy you were talking to when we first got down to the pool". He made it sound as if Derek was and old forgetful man for not remembering.

"Oh him", he glanced at Josh, "He's some entertainer or something, he works here. He just wanted to introduce himself, why"?

"Hm", it was now Joshs' turn to play dumb.

"Why do you ask"?

"Oh, It's just because Sam and Dean, they said he was Gay". He was referring to the two boys who he was playing in the pool with, Derek just assumed they were brothers.

"Does that bother you"? Derek asked his son, not understanding why he was so interested into why it mattered if it did bother him.

"NO, God, no. I- I was - I was just curious". He went red, "Abbie's out, I'm gonna shower".

Abbie walked onto what was the most unsubtle escape from a conversation ever, and just looked at her farther as if to say 'I don't get it', and to be honest, neither did he. Josh hadn't even talked to Stiles, did he not like him or something?

"Oh, Mom said she doesn't want to go down to dinner tonight, she went to the internet cafe place downstairs to sort out some work stuff". She looked boredly at her Dad.

"She didn't even shower", stating the obvious.

Abbie just made a noise which wasn't even human... Derek translated it to 'don't ask me'.

"Great, JOSH" Derek called into the shower, "Yeah", he heard back. "It's just us for dinner, your Moms not coming".

"Ok", he sounded awfully bright about it.

*

They found the restaurant eventually, ignoring all the obvious signs leading up to it, and who should be there.... Stiles.

"Hey" He smiled brightly at them, walking over from the family he just left. "You must be Josh then". Stiles looked down at his son. Who, again had gone red.

"Eer, yeah". He answered mousily.

"How old are you buddy"? He bent down a little to be at eye height with him.

"12" he hesitated. "Today" adding on.

"It's your birthday, well that just prooves it now. I need an assistant for the show tonight, how do you feel about that"?

"Really"? His eyes went wide as he smiled boldly at Stiles, then looked up at his dad for conformation, Derek just nodded. He only wanted to see his son happy.

"Yes please". He nodded frantically.

"Cool, meet me by the stage at eight tonight, do you know where that is"?

"yeah, we passed it on the way here" Derek answered for him.

"The stage is on the other side of the hotel" Stiles mentioned, confused.

"Dad got us lost" Abbie, helpfully, added in.

"Well, you know what they say about men and directions" he winked at them, hoping they'd get it, and they did. "What is it about men asking for directions"? They both laughed out, Stiles joined in. And Derek couldn't help but smile.

"Great, I'll see you tonight then"? laughing the rest off. He looked at Abbie and Derek.

Derek looked unsure, but Abbies smile made their choice up for them.

"Cool, se ya later guys". He called as he galloped out the restaurant.

Speaking of which, the food was amazing there. And it wasn't even Ittalian. Derek had steak, something he hadn't had for months, since Kate refused to have it in her house. In her, what she thinks is a, vegetarian house. It was georgeous, God he missed the taste. Josh had a burger, but complained that it was too fancy, Derek just laughed at that. And Abbie had Fish and chips, which she said was nice, but Derek didn't really care. He didn't like fish, hadn't ate it since he was just a kid, and wouldn't be eating it again in the near future, thank you.

They were just sitting at the table, letting their food go down, when Josh burst off of his seat. "Dad, Dad, We have to go. It's eight. Dad, we need to go now"!

Derek looked at his watch and it was indeed eight.

*

When they got there, Stiles was speaking to some guys in itallian when he spotted them.

"Here he is, my knew glamerous assistant" Stiles smiled as Josh ran over, acting like a ten year old. "Now, I need to ask you something, The show tonight is a fire sh-"

"No" Derek bellowed at Stiles.

"Dad, please, nothi-"

"No, you will not be doing anything that involes fire" Derek bent down to his son. "Look, I know Stiles has probably done a million fire shows and says its safe. But I can't let you near the fire, I can't loose you Josh, you or your sister". Derek could feel his eyes wetting over the top, but he pulled them back.

Josh looked down at his dad, he knew of his dads fear for fire and the reason for it. "Ok" Josh sulked. He understood it, didn't mean he liked it.

Derek stood up and turned to Stiles. "Look, I'm sorry, but I can-".

"Dont mention it. You care about your kids, anyone could see that. I'd be an idiot to force anyone into it". He smiled gently at Derek, then down to Josh.

"We have hypnotist coming tomorrow night, how about you and you sister help me with that, if you dad doesn't have a problem with that, that is", he causiously turned to Derek, who shook his head.

"Ok, how about that then"? Both Josh and Abbie Smiled at him, Josh obviouly getting over not being able to do the show tonight.

"Why don't you run to the bar near the internet cafe, I'll be up in a sec". He said to them, they nodded and walked off. Once they were out of hearing range Derek glanced back to Stiles.

"Thanks fo-"

"Hey" Stiles put his hand on Dereks arm. "I said don't mention it, it's fine" Stiles smiled at him so brightly derek couldn't help but smile back.

And that's how Dereks infatuation with Stiles started.


	4. Chapter 4

Derek will admit it, he couldn't watch the fire show. But not for the reason he originally thought would be the problem.

Kate, again, didn't want to come down. Now she was in the room doing her yoga. Since when has she done yoga? So it was just him and the kids, he didn't mind that. But Derek had made sure they were all near the back of the crowd, he didn't want them or himself to be any where near the fire. He made that clear, and the kids did what he asked.

The show was ten minutes in, so far it was a bunch of Itallian men eating and breathing fire, with no sign whatsoever of Stiles. Until...

Stiles ran out onto the stage, completely on fire. Derek panicked, he thought there had been an accident. He thought Stiles wanted help. He thought Stiles was going to die like his family did.

But then two of the men stood either side of him and began, what looked like, brething the fire in. And within seconds, all of the fire on Stiles was gone. Derek was so relieved he held a hand to his heart, hoping it would slow it down, it didnt work. It was no where close to working, his heart was racing like a jackrabbit.

And it didn't help that the next thing Derek notices, is that Stiles is very much topless and very much sweaty.

Suddenly a surge of thoughts and feeling pass through his head, through his body, coursing through his veins and into his dick.

He didn't know what was going on with his body. He couldn't control it. He tried to put his hand over his crotch and forcibly push his dick down without his kids seeing. But it wasnt budging.

"You two stay here and watch the show, I need to get out of here, I'll be in the bar upstairs. Ok"? They nodded, and he practically ran out of there.

He found the nearest public toilet and locked the door. As soon as he was sure it was bolted and no one could get in he pulled his dick out of his jeans. Just the touch was pure bliss.

He couldn't understand it, he'd never got so painfully hard that quick, with anyone. With Kate, with Jenifer, with Erica. Not even with the girls on the porn he used to buy as a kid.

"Hey, Derek"?

Derek heard Stiles from outside the door, but his voice sounding his name sent shockwaves of pleasure into his dick, Derek gripped it hard. The pleasure was... Nothing like he'd ever felt before.

"Derek, you in there"? Stiles said again, sounding a little worried.

"Yeah" Derek spat out, trying to hide the groan from where he was beating himself off in a public toilet with the cause of his hardness to be on the other side of the door.

"So... Are you alright, About the fire I mean"?

Oh, God, he was worried about Derek.' Did he leave his show to go and check on him?'

"I'm fine". Derek gritted out, Biting the ring of his top. Willing Stiles to go away before he groans or comes too loud.

"Derek, you don't sound alright, do you want me to come in"?

'Yes, let him in' "No" Derek growled, whimpering at the same time, the thought of Stiles going in there with him was too much for him to handle. He was so close.

"Derek let me in! I can help".

'FUCK' He wanted to scream. "No. No you really can't", Derek carried on rubbing to the sound of his voice. He knew he should have stopped. But he just couldn't. it was like Stiles was willing him on.

"That's it. Derek, I'm coming in".

"NO" Derek screamed. Rubbing so hard, wanting to just finish before stiles could get in, even though it would be obvious with the smell and the state of his hand, But he just needed to finish.

Derek could see Stiles hand come over the door for the bolt, feeling and reaching around for it. He found it.

Derek could hear the the bolt moving, and the door squeaking open.

'Faster Derek, faster'.

"Derek"? Stiles groaned in confusion as what he saw when he walked into the toilet.

That was it, that's what pushed Derek over the edge. He came so hard and messy over his hand. Them last few seconds are what gave him the most intense orgasm he had ever had. He couldn't look Stiles in the eye. Not after what had just happened. He put himself back in, pushed passed Stiles and ran down to the kids.

"Hey. I'm not feeling so good, so I'm going back to the room".

"Take some tablets dad, you look really pale, like ghost pale". Abbie ordered, looking extreamly worried.

"Thank you nurse", he playfully rolled his eyes.

Josh on the other hand looked upset. "Oh" was all he said.

"What's wrong"? Derek asked, moving into the row of seats so people could get passed him.

"I was hoping you would come with me after the show to talk to Stiles". Just the sound of his name made him want to crawl under a rock with embarissment.

"Well, I'm sure your sister will go with you, wont you Abbie". hint hint. She sighed and nodded. He got up, kissing both of them on the head then walked away. Normally he wouldn't leave his kids alone like they were, but they were surrounded by families, Abbie was sixteen and had been taking kickboxing lessons for nearly a year now and there room was the first room up the stairs closest to them. So they were pretty safe.

All he was concentrating on now was getting out of there.

He ran up the stairs, not looking back until his hand was on the door knob. He peered down, watching Stiles walking back to the show, and looking pale.

what had he done?

*

Derek walked in on Kate watching TV in their room.

"Where are the kids", She asked. You could tell she really didn't care by the way her eyes never left the screen, she wasn't going to win Mom of the year anytime soon.

"They're downstairs watching the show". Blunt as ever. He peeled his vest top off of himself, and pulled down his jeans, not bothering to put them away just yet, and crawled in to bed. His back towards Kate.

"What's with you"? She asked, as if him wanting an early night ruined her TV time.

"Nothing". Derek answered monotone. There was no way in hell he was going to tell her, not after the fact that him cheating was the reason they're on holiday. And now his body's doing wierd things when he thinks about Stiles.

"Whatever", she tutted and went back to the TV.

He went into a deep sleep straight away.

*

He awoke at seven thirty. Which was pretty normal. He wasn't one of those people who could sleep in late or stay up till all hours of the morning. He climbed out of bed, careful not to disturb Kate.

He watched the kids sleeping. How peaceful they looked, even Josh, who slept like a starfish with his limbs spread out everywhere, and Abbie who ended up hiding her face under the covers from the sun, but kept both her legs out. And then he looked at kate, who slept dead on her back, solid like a rock. Thats one of the things that made sleeping with Kate hard, she was so stiff and wrong. It was wrong

He was about to walk out the door to go for a run, but he made the mistake of passing the mirror. He saw himself, he saw what he did last night just by seeing his own reflection, he saw the guilt and the shame build in him.

'What did I do'? He put his head in his hands and shook it frantically.

He had desrtoyed any kind of possible friendship him and stiles could have. He won't be able to go out side, he can't face him, he cant face anyone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was a very important chapter for me. I was almost in tears with the feels.  
> so I hope you enjoy...

Two days Derek had avoided Stiles, two days. And with great difficulty too. The first day, he was too ashamed to leave his room, worried that if he did, Stiles would see him and brand him with with every name under the sun infront of everyone, infront of his kids. He managed to convince Kate that he was too 'ill' from last night to go down for breakfast or lunch, so the kids brought him up some food. But dinner? He was forced to go down. Kate was never a fan of eating in a room like this. Luckily though, Stiles was no where to be found, none of the other entertainers had seen him either. It was like he just vanished.

The second day, Josh forced him to go down to the pool with him, since Abbie kept disappearing. Something Derek would be keeping his eyes on.

But he was cautious, he could have been anywhere, but again, he wasn't. Apparently he got so wasted the night before that he couldn't even get out of bed without throwing up. Everyone thought it was wired, since he'd never missed a day of work, and he never drunk that much. The thought crossed Dereks mind that he had driven Stiles to drink, just the thought allowed for guilt to pass through his body. But at the time, he was simply relieved to be able to walk around the hotel without looking over his sholder. Well, as much.

Derek had begun to wonder if Stiles had told anyone what he'd seen. None of the staff or other guests had said anything to him about it, so he just assumed he hadn't. Or they were keeping it quiet.

*

"Poor Stiles". Derek turned to look at Josh over the table in the resaraurant.

"What do you mean, it's just a hangover. He'll get over it". Abbie said, stabbing her pasta with her fork as if she wanted to serve it great pain.

"Yeah, but he's ill. Maybe we should go see him, make sure he's alright"? Josh suggested. Derek had started to notice something in Josh recently, something about Stiles. At first he thought he just liked the guy, like a friend. Then he always wanted to be around him, so that turned into... Best friends? A brother figure? Derek didn't know. But then there were these little things he would say. Like: 'Wow, look at Stiles swim, Dad look. Look at him go. All those muscles working', and 'I wonder if Stiles likes flowers now. He said one of his Ex boyfriends gave him flowers right before dumping him in public. Maybe I shoud give him some to show him it's ok'? and Dereks favorite, 'Stiles... Sttiiiillleesss.... St- Stilessss'. Ok, to be fair, the last one was Josh talking in his sleep. Everyone else was asleep except Derek, so no one else heard it. And it was pretty obvious what he was dreaming about.

Yes it was a little creepy for Derek, that he had to listen to it. But he was a young teenage boy once, he knows what it's like to have your body filled with hormones and so many chemicals you don't know what to do with yourself. Hell, when he's alone he still gets wet dreams that he can't control. And he's a grown man.

That's when he tied everything together. The not sleeping, the problems with school, and now this. Not only had Derek just realised that his son is quite possibly... No, not possibly, he was gay. His son was gay, and he had a crush on Stiles.

"Josh, can I have a word with you". Josh looked up at his dad from where he was just about to get the last spoonfull of cheese sause in his mouth, he put the spoon down, and followed his dad out the restaurant as if it were an effort.

They walked into a quiet corner which was rarely used but guests, and the only people you really saw were the cleaners, but they'd finished their duty for that floor.

"Have I done something wrong"? Josh looked up at his dad, scared.

"No, no Josh. You haven't. I just- I just... God I'm not good with words". He swallowed hard and looked into his sons green eyes. "I want to talk about... The sleeping, and the boys at School, and... and Stiles".

Joshs' face went bright red like he'd swollowed some red christmas lights. "I- I don't know- Dad, I-"

"Hey, hey". reassuringly he rubbed his hand up and down his sons arm as he knelt down on the floor to get closer. Hugging his son he murmered, "It's ok, it's all ok. It's fine Josh. God I love you". And with Dereks outburst of reassurance, Josh hugged back and whispered "I don't know what to do Dad".

Derek leant back and studied his son. "What do you mean"?

"The boys at school, they push me down, and get me in trouble and..." He looked to the ground.

"And what"? He rested his hand on Joshs' cheek, wiping a tear away with his thumb.

"And they call me names". He wimpered, looking even deeper into the ground, like he wished he was buried there instead of having to admit what was happening to him.

"What sort of names"? Dereks entire being hardened.

He raised his head, peering at his dad through wet eyes and long lases. "Fag, Queer... Cocksucker". Derek had no emotions for those boys but complete and utter hatred. He grabbed Josh, pulling him so tight, his own body began to shake.

"You don't listen to them, Ok? You never listen to them. Never let them get to you" Derek ordered as softly as he could.

"But everyone at School hates me". He cried again, wetting Dereks shoulder.

"I'm sure most of them don't, and the ones that do, fuck them. Fuck the lot of them. Because you wanna know why"? Josh leaned out of his farthers embrace to look at him. "Your not going to let them Get to you, because one day, you're going to be a famous actor, just like you always wanted to be, and they'll be the guys cleaning your shoes. Then on that day, you can look down at them and say "Who's better now"". Josh just gave Derek the smallest of smiles. He probably didn't believe it then, but he will.

"Ok", Derek bagan as he got off his knees to sit on the floor and lean against the wall, tapping the floor next to him for Josh to sit. "So, what's this with Stiles then? Is it just a crush or-". Derek was very concerned for what his son was about to say next. very concerned, for his own selfish reasons.

"I don't know, I just... I... I don't know. He's the first person Iv'e met who's... Like me. And I don't feel guilty when I look at him". He look up at his dad, with hope of understanding in his eyes.

"You don't need to feel guilty, I know a few guys who will look at lesbians, there's no hope that anything will happen, but it doesnt stop them looking. Your young and it's perfectly normal to be looking in all sorts of directions at your age, just remember that". Derek paused and sighed loudly, looking at the floor. "And that's not entirely true, what you said before".

"What do you mean", Josh asked wiping his eyes with the underside of his wrist.

"I'm- I'm going to tell you a stroy, and I need you to promise me you wont tell anyone, Ok"? Derek pleaded with his son, who made a small gesture of agreemant.

"Once there was a boy, he was only young, but a bit older that you, just three years older. He was popular in School, good grades, smart, good looking, had all the girls after him. You'd think he had everything he wanted... But he didn't. He was so bored with his life. He wanted something nice, something exciting. And something did come along. Something in the form of a beautiful older woman. She was four years older than him. But that didn't stop him. He really liked her, even convinced himself he loved her. And he couldn't believe his luck when she agreed to go on a date with him. He was so happy. And one thing lead to another and a few years later, they got married. He may have only been twenty, a bit young to be getting married some thought, but he loved it. He loved how he got to take care of someone, showering them in affection and love. Then two years later, his wife fell pregnant. He was extactic. His little family of two was beggining to grow into a little family of three. It was a girl. And he vowed that he would always watch out for her, that he'd never let anyone hurt his little girl. And four years later. The wife fell preganant again. This time with a boy. He couldn't contain his joy. He'd never felt so much so much happiness at one time". He looked over to Josh and ran his hand over his short hair, smiling with tears in his eyes. That is until he turned to look in to the distance and hardened again.

"But the wife, she lost all interest in him and the kids. She was too concerned with her own life the the lives of her family. It was then when the man started to question his love for the woman, to question if he had ever loved her. He tried to think back, to when they first met. To understand if it was love he felt, or just hormones that drove him to her. And honestly, even now he doesn't know the answer to that. But one thing he was sure of, he didn't love his wife anymore. And if it wasn't for the love of his kids, he knew he would have left her a long time ago. Then, out of no where, these thoughts started appearing. Like an irritation at the back of my mind that I just couldn't get rid of. And I did something wrong, so very wrong. I wanted to find someone to love again, someone I could find attractive and want to spend the rest of my life with. But I had no such luck. I just wanted to find one woman I could sleep with without... Your mother found out, and the next day we're being carted off here. It's not until now that I realised that it wasn't about love, it was about showing people I was better than they were, that I could have any woman I wanted. But I-I didn't want them. I didn't relise until now that I don't want any woman at all".

Derek put his head in his hands, raising his knees and trying to hide himself from the world as much as he could. Expecting his son to run off in disgust after learning the truth. But he didn't, instead, he hugged him. Trying to give back the reasurance he had christened him with.

Then out of no where, he felt another pair of arms round him. He looked up so see Abbie clinging onto him for dear life. "God, I love you you idiot" She cried into his shoulder.

And that was his life, pure acceptance from his children over his lifes desicions that he couldn't accept. Not until now. It was true, the love for his children gave him the strength to do all sorts of things, even to look up above him and see a window flung open with stiles peering out with tears in his eyes.

He knew Stiles was there. The whole time. He heard the window open at the very begginig and he knew where his room was.

Did he take Josh there on purpose? Or did he do it by pure coincidence? Derek didn't know. But he didn't regret it.

Stiles offered a small smile, which Derek returned.

And that is how everything changed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, well this is annoying. Because I know how I want to end it, but I have no idea what to do in between. I know what the basic storyline is throughout... But I'm so confused on what to do because I don't want to end it yet... Any suggestions...?

The three of them stood up, still hugging after swearing none of them would say a word to anyone until Josh and Derek were ready. The kids walked down stairs to the restaurant, closely followed by Derek, but not before looking up at the Stiles' window, which was now closed.

*

The next day started out brighter for Derek, for once in his life he wasn't angry at anyone, he wasn't upset, fustrated, he was just... content. Something he'd never felt for a long time. He knew it was to do with finally answering a question which had played with the back of his mind since he was young, but never bothered to answer, thinking it was just stupid.

He got up out of the bed, walking over to Joshs' bed, nudging his shoulder to get him up. "Hmmn"?

"Hey, I'm going downstairs for a swim before your Mom wakes up and Abbie decides to join the living, you coming"? Derek asked, hoping to get some farther and son time after last nights revalation between the both of them.

"Yeah, sure". He yawned before reaching for the thin sheet.

*

It was quite early, well for holiday gowers. It was around eight in the morning when they both reached the pool, and not another person in sight. It was perfect. Derek stood there, admiring the tranquility of everything, when Josh came up from behind him and pushed him in, jumping in after him. Coming up laughing, Derek pulled his son into a tackle, and hoisted him above his head, and threw him back into the water. They stayed in that atmosphere for a while, just laughing and playing around until they both ended up on the beach opening of the pool laying on their backs, exhausted from their games.

"Dad"?

"Yeah"? Derek turned his face to see Josh staring up at the sky, looking terrified. A complete change from the joyfull boy he was just a few moments ago.

"We'll be alright, won't we? I mean... We're normal... Aren't we"? 'God, what have we done to him to make him think he wasn't normal'.

"Josh, no matter what we... Are, we'll always be normal. I don't know if we'll be alright, but what I do know, is that We'll get through this, together. I know, because I know I'll always be there for you, and you'll be there for me. Always. But don't ever think you're not normal. You are just as normal as your sister, you moth- Well, kates not normal... But you get the point". Josh was contemplating what his dad was saying, until Derek scooped him up in his arm and brought him closer to him, to bring him into a sideways one-armed hug. "And if you can't think of yourself as normal, then don't. Think of yourself as special. Because you are Josh, you really, really are". And with that Josh squeezed his dad so tightly and whispering , "I love you dad". Derek answered him by kissing him on the forehead.

*

The pool had started to busy up, people waking up and coming down from breakfast. So Derek took it as a good time to get a drink from the bar upstairs.

"I'm gonna get a drink, you guys want anything"? He asked the kids who were lazing around on the sun beds next to him while they waited fro Kate, who was in the spa.

"No thanks", "Not at the moment".

"Ok, be back in a moment, try not to drown while I'm gone". He smirked to himself at the kids sudden looks of shock that their dad would even imply such a thing.

He was near enough at the bar, when the door to the cleaners closet opened, and a arm pulled him in. Not only did it pull him into the closet, but also to an embrace, which he followed through with when he learned it was Stiles.

What was with him. He'd known this guy for a couple of days, and he was admitting things he hadn't even thought about for years, feeling things he never thought he could... He didn't know what to do.

"I know my hugs probably don't match up to the kids, but you look like you needed one last night". Derek felt Stiles breath onto his sholder. He felt the warmth over his neck, how it tickled his skin, sending shockwaves coursing through his body.

Stiles pulled away. Looking deeply into his eyes in the dim light. They started at each other intently, as if it would be their last sight and wanted to hold onto it forever.

He wasn't sure who moved first, but all Derek knew was that Stiles' lips were on his, planting dry kisses everywhere, gradually wetting up. And they weren't the only thing on Derek that was wetting up.

The little pricks of heat left his lips and trailed onto his neck, biting and sucking onto his pulse point.

The thing is, Derek had felt pleasure before, like when he and Kate had sex, she did rub against the stimulus, and he did orgasm. How else would he be a Dad. But the stimulus was the only thing that did get excited. She used to attack his neck, rubbing her breastes against his own cheast, and he would just stand there, feeling nothing. Just like a brick with no emotion, and not much desire to continue. But with Stiles...

Well, he couldn't stay still. He wanted to run his hands over his bum, and down his sides, and through his hair, and that's while he was clothed...

He didn't know what to do with himself, he'd never been in this place with kate.

kate...

KATE!

He was married. He couldn't do this again to her. Sure he didn't love her, and he was sure she had no loving emotions towards him, but he was married. The reason they were on this holiday was because of him.

"Stiles, I can'-"

"Derek, don't. Don't tell me to stop". Stiles mumbled, biting his chin.

Could Derek really say no to Derek, was his feelings and pleasure worth more to him than a loveless marriage?

And that was it, he couldn't say no to him.

"Well, can we go somewhere more comfortable then"? Derek asked, as he removed a mop from the small of his back. Stiles smiled and grabbed his hand.

They snuck out of the closet, looking paranoid as they did. The stairs were right near them, all they had to do was sneak past the staircase that lead to the pool. The staircase that his kids beds were facing directly towards.

Stiles went first, looking, well... Normal. Like he hadn't just necked Derek in the closet only five foot away. When he reached the other side, he peered down the stairs, watching the kids. Then gave the signal for Derek to mover along... He ran.

They reached Stiles' room in less than thirty seconds after that. The need for privacy was too much, privacy, peace and pleasure.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo... Yeah... I'm still having some trouble finding a plot for the middle of this fic, Iv'e already written the ending in my head, but I can't work out what to put in the middle. So if you have any ideas, please, please ppllleeaaasseeee tell me!  
> Oh, and tell me if you see any mistakes and sort them if I can  
> :)

Stiles was on Derek as soon as the door was closed. Leaning chest to chest, Derek could feel the tickle of his breath over his lips.

"Do you want this Derek"? Stiles asked firmly, looking pained. And with a huge sigh of relief, Derek nodded. He couldn't control himself, he knew it was wrong. Kate was only two flights of stairs away, and so were his kids. And he was here, about to have sex with a guy for the first time, when he should be with them.

But the thing was, Derek realised, is that everything was for his kids. Don't get him wrong, he loved his kids, more than anything in the entire world. But he never did anything for himself anymore. And he was lonely.

So for once, he allowed himself this, he allowed himself to be selfish and have Stiles.

Stiles lips were back on his neck, sucking and biting, being careful not to make any visable marks, but also getting the job done. He tried to pull his hips away, trying to pull them away from Stiles' touch because Derek was hard, very hard. To be fair, this was the most pleasure Derek had had in years, so he was bound to get hard quickly, and Stiles picked up on this and stopped.

Derek, he looked away in shame, he never meant to get hard that quickly, it's not like it was his fault. The thoughts ran through his head 'Will Stiles stop knowing how pathetic Derek was'? 'Was he going to make fun of him and tell Kate'?

He knew Stiles probably wouldn't have done either of them things, but he had only known him for just a couple of days, he couldn't pretend to know what he was thinking. But that didn't take away the fact about how embarrassed he was.

He felt a warm hand touch his chin to pull him around to look at Stiles. He was so red, Derek could feel it all over his face. But that all seemed to go away when Stiles whispered, "It's ok Derek, it's ok, I understand" and kissed him on the lips, still holding his chin in place. There was something rather intimate about the gesture, but Derek didn't let that get to him, he was too focused of the hand snaking its way into the elastic of his shorts. Just his shorts, he didn't bother wearing swimming trunks in the pool anymore, since he got older, just ordinary shorts. Derek moaned a little, just at the idea of Stiles jacking him off, the idea of his hands around his dick, his mouth. He could almost feel it just by imagining it, like he was a teenage boy all over again.

Stiles took the moan as the go ahead, placing both of his hands down Dereks sides, caressing,  pushing his shorts down as he did. The feeling of the cool air meeting his dick sent shivers through him, making all the more painfully hard.

Stiles never left his lips, even to let Derek moan properly, he just sucked and bit and kissed and licked... He devoured them.

Derek could feel the finger now running lengths up and down his dick, Oh he was very aware of it, of how stiles' finger would rub slightly when it reached the head, or how he scraped his nail on the base before he ran it back down, or how each action was harder each time Derek made a noise, be it a moan or just a hitch of a breath.

"Maybe we should move to the bed", Stiles whimpered, breaking the kiss, and unfortunately bringing Derek out of his thoughts and back to the fact that he was leaning on a door.

"Ok" Derek just about managed to squeak. Stiles held his hand and walked them over to the king sized bed, far better than the one he and Kate sleep on, but Derek had a feeling this bed was used for more than just sleeping. He didn't understand why then bothered him, but he couldn't let it, not now at least.

He stopped as Stiles did, staring at the man in front of him, who was in the process of taking his top off to reveal a body he still hadn't gotten used to, even after days of seeing Stiles prance around the pool. But now? Now he got to touch. And he did.

It was a odd experience for Derek, the first time was was touching a mans body, before sex, and he was touching in the most unsexy way possible, he was touching stiles like he wanted to know each and every form of his body, every crevice, to place every mole, to feel his muscles clench, how his ribs move when he breaths, and from this angle, Derek realised that the man, stood a touch away, was the most beautiful man he'd ever seen.

He moved his fingers down, dragging the feel of his skin as he he did, right down to Stiles' own shorts, he let his fingers hover for a bit, savering the sight he had infront of him, then dragged them over to the button, loosely brushing over the rough material as he did, letting it soak between his fingers. The button was cool, cold even. He tried to get his fingers around it, but he couldn't. It wasn't until Stiles hands were around his own that he realised that he was shaking. Could he put it down to nerves, curiosity, excitement... Fear? He didn't know.

"Come hear". He hears Stiles whisper, using Dereks hands to undo his button and pull the zipper down, letting the shorts fall to the floor, revealing that Stiles wasn't wearing underwear either. Derek looked up, not wanting to look at Stiles' dick, feeling like a pervert. But Stiles was Still moving his hands, like a puppeteer, up to his dick. Derek could feel the now hard flesh beneath his fingertips, he could feel the hair, how it spiked after being shaven, the wrinkles in it, the softness to his skin, even there, and how hot the head was. He gasped at the touch, allwoing himself to look down, and away from Stiles smirk.

And what he saw was a sight he'd never forget. He saw Stiles' and Dereks'dicks, both painfully errect and staring at each other, facing each other like a stand off. The next thing he knew, before he could take the sight in more, was Stiles wrapping his hand around both of their dicks, firmly.

Derek groaned, this was more than a finger running lightly over his dick, this was Stiles jacking them both off, together. Derek didn't know what to do with himself, with his arms, nothing. so he rested his forhead on Stiles shoulder, groaning loudly in pleasure at Stiles' touch, raking his hands over the curve over Stiles' ass, his plump and beautiful ass. He could also feel the movements of Stiles hands, roughing through his hair, pulling slightly with his left hand.

They stood like that for almost two minutes, moaning and groaning, faster and faster, until the build up was too much for Derek, releasing himself all over Stiles abdomen, closely followed by Stiles shooting out on him. The hot cum dripping off his groin was a new experience for Derek, and though messy, he loved it.

They stood there, wrapped in each others embrace, panting.

"How-how was that"? Stiles asked, he could practically hear the crafty smirk in his voice.

"Amazing", Derek answered back, just as breathless as Stiles.

"Good, you deserve it".

*

They had moved into Stiles bed, just for a lay down before round two, but before he knew it, they were both asleep.

Derek woke up, wrapped in bare naked arms. Something that has never happened to him before. People generally perceived as the big spoon because of his size, but this? This he liked. He went to twist his head to get a glimps of a sleeping Stiles, but he glanced over at the window on the way and saw the stars shining through...

STARS

"SHIT"! Derek muttered loudly to himself.

"Mpf, what"? Stiles fidgeted as Derek got out of the bed, not caring if he woke Stiles up.

"I gotta go". Rushing to find and put on his clothes.

"What, why"? Sleeping beauty was definately awake now as he leant up on his elbows,

"Because I left my kids telling them I was going to get a drink, and it's-" Looking at the clock on the wall above the Tv. "Shit, it's twenty to nine. Fuck they're going to be worrying". Derek had never felt so selfish as he did now. He did something for himself for once, and look where it landed him. He threw his head in his hands.

"SShhh, shh, it's ok. It'll be ok". Stiles was out of the bed, and trying to grab Derek in for a hug, but he resisted. Until he couldn't anymore. He let Stiles hug him. And he hugged back. "If they say anything, just say you ran into me, saw I looked ill and said you'd stay with me until I fell asleep. So it's only half a lie, so you won't feel as guilty".

"but the kids. They'll kno-"

"And? You told your kids something that most men wouldn't have the guts to say by the time they're your age".

"Wha-" Derek tried to protest at the insult.

"No, that's not what I mean Derek. I mean that, you've settled down, you have a wife, kids, probably a nice job. And suddenly your admitting something that can very easily throw you out of it. A lot of men won't say anything because they don't believe that if they come out, their happiness won't meet the contentment they had before, so they just don't bother and live miserable lives. And if your kids find out, let them. Abbies an intellegant girl, she knows you won't do this sort of thing without a reason, and Josh... Well he's going through the same thing, so he understands the experimenation phase". That... Actually helped him.

"Thank you" Derek said quietly, leaning out of the hug to look at Stiles' honey eyes.

"No pr-"

"No, I mean- I mean thank you, for everything". Derek gestured between them.

"So, I-I'll see you tomorrow then"? Stiles sat back down on the edge of the bed.

"I think so". Derek smiled at him, and walked to the door, not before giving Stiles one last glance full of happiness, not just content.


	8. Chapter 8

Derek got back to the room to two worrying children and One very angry Kate. "Where the hell have you been"? She yelled at him, not even letting him walk into the door properly. "Did you know I had to watch over the kids while you were gone, I had to cancel my massage because of you", pointing her finger straight in his face.

"Oh, poor you". He muttered sarcastically as he pushed passed her to get into the main part of the room.

"Excuse me"? She sounded suprised, and gave him the universal oppitunity to change his answer.

But he didn't.

"You heard me". He calmly said, spinning to face her. "Poor you, how dare you actually have to watch your kids, poor you for having to do something a decent mother does anyway".

"Why you litt-"

"Kids, go down stairs, go to the bar, don't come up until one of us finds you. I don't want you to hear this", he ordered them with a stern voice. They nodded and complied, and it wasn't until Derek was sure they were out of earshot that he continued.

"We came on this holiday to be a family, and all you've done is think about yourself. That's all you've ever done. And I've had it".

"I think about myself all the time? Well who's fault is it that we're here in the first place". She sounded pleased with herself.

"Yes, I've done something bad, but I'm hardly stupid enough to think your dinners with 'Gary' are just dinners. You've done bad things too Kate. But the difference between us is that I felt bad afterwards. Not for you, but for the kids. Because I didn't know how it would affect them, how they would think about me afterwards".

"That's none of your buisiness! But you still did it, so how about I go and tell them now, shall I"?

"None of my buisiness? You're my wife. Well if that's none of my buisiness, then why is Erica your buisiness. And don't bother telling the kids, I already told them". Kates face morphed into that of confusion and shock.

"You told them? But they- they don't act any different around you", her eyes were close to tears, and Derek didn't understand why. But he didn't care, not anymore.

"It's because, unlike you, I actually love our kids, and they love me". He knew that was a bit harsh, but he was in the moment.

"What do you mean I don't lo-"

"Oh open your eyes Kate". Derek sounded extremely fustrated. "You're never interested in them. For Abbies' sixteenth you gave her $200 and told her to organise something for herself. That is not what a loving parent does. What a loving parent does, is tell their daughter to keep the money, and put it towards college, and organises a party himself. He books a hall, buys the food and drink, sends out secret invatation messages on facebook to all her friends and then stays up until three in the morning to pick her up, only to go to work at five. So don't patronise me Kate, you don't love them, you never have". Derek was furious at the thought of Kate actually trying to say she loved the kids. She didn't and anyone could see it.

Kate was in tears now, and Derek didn't feel bad at all.

"Fuck you Derek" She screamed at him, "I know I have flaws, I don't claim to be perfect. You knew that when you married me-"

"No, I knew that when I made the biggest mistake of my life. The only good thing to come out of this marriage is those two kids downstairs. The rest of it is a sham".

"Get out. Get out Derek, just get- get out-". Her mascara was running down her face, leaving little pale streaks down her face where her tears were washing away the foundation. "I payed for this room, and I don't want you near me tonight, so just go. Just get out". She stamped off to the toilet and slammed the door, letting the entire hotel know of their argument if they didnt know already.

*

He went to the bar downstairs and told the kids to go back up, and that he wasn't going to be sleeping in the room.

"Where will you go"? Abbie asked, sounding a little frightened for him.

"I don't know, I'll work somwthing out. If I have to I'll buy a room for the night". Derek knew exactly what he was going to do. But he wasn't going to let the kids know that.

Both of them hugged him good night, then walked towards the staircase.

*

"I'm coming" Derek heard a miserable sounding Stiles on the other end of the door. "Look, I- Oh, Derek. I wasn't expecting you".

"I need a really big favour. Me and Kate had a massive row, and she kindda kicked me out for the night. I don't have anywhere else to go". He admitted sheepishly.

"Sure", Stiles smiled, holding the door open for Derek. He walked into the middle of the room, and stood at the end of the bed.

"Look, I'm sorry for asking this of you, but I couldn't think of anywhere else. She's just- She-". Derek let his head fall, until he felt a soft hand under his chin, lifting his head up.

"Hey, hey, hey. Look at me. I'm not judging you or anything. Everyone get's in fights, right"? He looked at Derek, straight into his eyes. He was expecting Stiles to lean in and kiss him, but instead, he leant in and hugged him. Before he knew it, an inhuman noise escaped his mouth before wrapping his arm around him. Stiles just giggled at the noise.

"You looked like you could use a hug, and I've been told I give good ones". He leant out to look at him again, shrugging his shoulders as if it was an everyday occurance.

"What people", Derek asked, curiously.

Stiles detached himself from Derek, to walk away, to make it look like he was busy. A technique he learnt to deal with Kate. "Just people". He shrugged his shoulders again, folding some clothes up.

"Ex's". Derek added up. Stiles just looked over his shoulder and looked ashamed, but nodded. "I don't care, if that's what you're worried about. I don't even know what to think of my own dating record to even consider thinking about someone elses". Stiles dropped the clothes on the little sofa by the window, and turned full to face Derek.

"I remember. The story you told the kids. You've only dated Kate, the rest were just... Experiments? Fuck buddies"? Stiles asked, wanting to know the answer.

"The others... You make it sound like there were loads. It was only those two. And they were just experiments. But yeah. I've only ever dated Kate". Derek sat down on the end of the bed, resting his head on his hand.

"Well it's better than mine. I've dated- well I don't know how many to be honest. It wasn't even dating it was just... hookups down allys and picking up guys from bars. I never dated someone properly, you know. Like go on dates to the movies, buy flowers, make love kind of dating. It got to the point where I was so fed up with it that I booked a flight out of the blue to Italy, then I fell in love". Stiles smiled out the window. Derek could see the glint in his eyes.

"Who was he"? Stiles turned to look at him, gesturing him to come over by the window, and he did.

Derek couldn't begin to explain what he saw. The view was so breathtaking. There were lights everywhere, of all different colours. There was the citys refelction on the harbour in the distance. There were people laughing and joking in the distance, and street musice even further away.... "I fell in love with this", Stiles put his hand down from the window pain, and hesitantly reached for Dereks hand. He took it.

They stood there for a good five minutes before Derek felt himself yawning. Stiles just chuckled. "I guess it's time for bed", He look over behind them, giving his bed a strange look. "I've only got the double bed, but if you don't feel comfortable, we can always make up the sofa. I mean, I've got blankets and a spa-"

"I don't mind sharing" Derek grunted, sharing Stiles' view of the bed.

*

They were both laying on there backs like bricks with the sheet settled neatly over both of them.

Derek had no idea what to do. It was awkward. He wanted so badly to reach over to Stiles, but he didn't want to upset him. And he didn't want to turn the other way, because if he did, he could see out the window, and that would just remind him of the argument he had not even an hour ago. So he just layed there.

"What are we doing"? Derek heard beside him, he turned his head to look over at Stiles.

"What do you mean"? he answered.

"We're both lonely, we both want each other, sexually and not, and we both just want to feel appreciated. So what are we doing just lying here like idiots when we just want to move over and feel... I don't know... warmth"?

"Stiles, I'm married, and I only came out the closet to myself just over twenty-four hours ago. Don't you think that's a bit fast..."?

"Well, as for your wife. I've never met her or even seen her. But from what you and the kids have told her, she's not a very nice woman. And It's kindda obvious your argument was about the state of your marriage. and as for the other thing. I'm not asking for a full on domestic relationship, not even friends with benifits. Just... I don't know, go out for dinner in a restaurant somewhere, chill out in bed with no sex, just... Nice things". Stiles sat up, and leant against the head board.

Derek did contemplate what he was thinking, and it did actually sound nice. A brand new relationship, a new start for him. But could he really do it. Behind Kates back? Erica and Jenifer had just been for sex, unknowingly for Jenifer. But this... This was unknown territory for him. But there was something on his mind that was actually bugging him.

"Can two guys actually go out for dinner in Itally"? He looked up at Stiles, who just Laughed.

"Most places no, but I know a few places that are accepting, but they can't advertise it. So you have to kindda have to keep it low, like no kissing or coversations on sex or the history of the male circumcision, yeah that happened once", After noticing Dereks look. "But short answer, yes. There are a few places a gay couple can go in a very openly homophobic country".

"Why did you come here then? if you knew what it was like". Stiles raised his eyebrows at the question.

"I guess because I wanted to stop how my life was before, not like, stop being gay. But stop the casual hookups. Since it was dangerous in a country like this one, I woulnd't be able to do it. So I thought once I got over that, I could go back home. But then something happened, and I didn't want to go back. So I stayed". Derek didn't want to push the subject further after seeing the look on Stiles' face. So he just brushed his hand over Stiles lower arm in comfort. Stiles, lowered himself away from the head board and into Dereks arms. And that's how they went to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's not the longest of chapters. but I couldn't really add more in without going into the next chapter...  
> soo, yeah, tell me what you think of the story so far

Derek felt him before he saw him. He felt the warmth of a body enclosed beside his own, wrapped in his arms. Ok, so he may have said that he liked waking up in someone elses arms before, but this was also nice.

"I know you're awake. Get up I'm getting stiff", Derek heard a murmered chuckle from the warmth in his arms.

"Mmno" Derek just snuggled up to the warmth even more in protest.

"Get up, I need to go to work". Finally Derek let Stiles go, rubbing his eyes as he did and rolling onto his back.

"Hi". He smiled as he saw Stiles for the first time that morning.

"Hi". He replied back, leaning in for a kiss on Dereks cheek before getting up off the bed to get dressed.

"What time is it"? He asked as he swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up. Stiles just giggled at him.

"It's seven thirty and uh-" He giggled even more.

"What"? He asked in curiosity as he walked over to Stiles who was standing infront of the mirror, not removing he smile.

"You look really cute in the mornings, but you're as stubbon as a teenager to wake up". The older man just huffed in agreement.

"You should see Abbie. She wouldn't wake up even if there were an earthquake outside. She's terrible", he quietly laughed to himself.

"That's nothing. Where I was on holiday here, not at this hotel I mean, I was in a completely different part of Italy. Anyway, I was asleep on a bench, passed out earlier that night from drinking too much, and when I woke up, there where ambulances and police cars everywhere. I thought they were for me. It turns out there was a shooting right where I was sleeping. The video of it is on Youtube. I couldn't believe how I slep through a shooting right next to me". He laughed at his own story and derek joined in, placing a hand around Stiles' waist.

*

Fifteen minutes later, they were both dressed and had fully woken up.

"God, I'm starving" Derek muttered to himself, unaware that Stiles was right behind him with a toothbrush in his mouth.

"Well breakfast starts now, you wanna go down"? Stiles just about got that out as human sounding as possible without loosing all of his toothpast out of his mouth. Even though a little did dribble down the side of his mouth, and Derek couldn't help but let his mind wander at that.

"I think I should go check on the kids", he apologised to stiles, looking guilty.He didn't know how Stiles would react. Would he be disappointed, or angry? Because that was the bargaining chip for Derek. His kids came first, always. And if Stiles had a problem with that, then Derek would have a problem with him. But instead, Stiles just came up behind him, removing his toothbrush again and pecking him on the cheek.

"I get it. It's fine. You love your kids more than anything, you just wanna make sure they're all right. It's fine Derek. I was just asking. I'm not gonna turn into a clingy desperate housewife. But make sure you eat soon. your stomache was kindda growling loudly while you were sleeping".

Well, he passed that test, figuratively speaking.

"Sure". Derek robotically answered as Stiles wandered back into the bathroom. Derek was starting to think about the conversation they had had last night, about their relationship.

Was Stiles worth the risk?

*

Derek reached his own hotel room in record time, wanting to see in the kids were alright. He knew they would be, Kates not a violent person. If she was, he never would have left the kids with her. But she is extremely vocal and honset when drunk. And that's what he was affraid about.

Abbie answered the door, with red stained eyes. She  wrapped her arms around her father as soon as she realised it was him.

"My God- Abbie, honey, Abbie. What happened"? Derek bent down to look at his daughter, she had no bruises on her, but he was worried by the state of her clothes. They were covered in sick.

"Mom, she- she". She burst into tears right before his eyes. And that is something no man, father or not, can cope with.

He led her into the room, shutting the door behind him. Noticing that Kate nor Josh were there.

"Abbie, where's your brother"? Derek was panicked now. If Kate had gone off the rails, then...He was dreading to think what she would do to him. Abbie was making no sign of stopping the crying. "Baby, Abbie, look at me. I need you to tell me what happened". She nodded and wiped her eyes.

"Mom- She screamed at u-us when w-we got in. She said we were path-pathetic. I tried to tell Josh to go out-outside, so he wouldn't hear it. But she stopped me. She yelled and ye-yelled at us. And Josh started to cry, I tried to tell her to stop but she just laughed at him. She kept laughing and said how he was- was just like you. Then he got angry. He tried to defend you, and he... Um, he kindda let it slip about your conversation about... you know. And she went berzerk. She grabbed Joshs' wrist and dragged him out the door. I went to follow, but-but she said that if I left-I left, it would be the last think I did". She started crying all over again, hiccuping as she did. "I'm sorry dad, I'm so, so sorry". She gripped onto his top, pulling her face into it.

"Don't be, you did nothing wrong". He tried to console her.

"Bu-but if I tried harder, I could have stopped her". She grizzled.

"Don't think like that. None of this is your fault. Come on. We need to find your brother".

*

They ran downstairs to the pool, hearing a large croud of people yelling in all sorts of languages. Polish, Russian, Itallian... and American English.

When Derek pushed passed the crowd to see what was going on, he felt his knees go weak at the sight he saw before him.

A huge Russian guy he'd seen a few times around the hotel, was holding Kates wrists behind her, not letting her go. Even with her screams of protest and anger. And stiles, on the floor, with a very soaked Josh in his arms. A very soaked and unconscious Josh. Stiles was attempting to give him CPR. And by the looks of it, it wasn't working.

Derek fell to his knees in front of his son, tears running down his cheeks as he tried to pull him away from Stiles, so he could hold his son in his arms. "Derek, Derek" He heard a faint murmur somewhere in the distance. "Derek" A hand violently shook his sholder. He looked up through his tear covered eyes, to see the hand and voice came from Stiles.

"Derek, the ambulance is here. I need you to let them take him. They can't help him unless you let him go". Derek just shook his head and burried his face in Joshs' stomache as he cradled his body. "Derek. Please. He needs to go to hospital". Derek knew he was right. He just didn't want to let go of his only son.

But he did.

He let two people in uniforms take Josh and placed his on the floor and perform a different version of CPR on him. He could barely watch. It was too hard, to see his sons lifeless body on the floor, and being handled by people he didn't know. But then the thought of Abbie came to him, if he was barley holding it up, how was she doing? He looked around for her, only to see her head on some Italian boys shoulders, the same boy he had seen her talking to quite often, with his arms wrapped around her, trying to calm her down. When he noticed Derek, he gave him a stern nod, as if to say 'I got this'. It was good she had someone right now.

He heard the men say something in Itallian, which Stiles translated to "we need to get him to hospital now". The next thing Derek knew, he was off of his knees and following his son, who was being taken away by the men to a abulance which was parked out the front of the hotel.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) I never really specified the ages before. Derek is meant to be 38 here and Stiles is 31  
> 2) I hoped you liked Stiles and Dereks confessions about their life. I had originally planned that they would say all that when cuddling after their first time at sex (... penetration). But I didn't have much of a middle for the story. so it wouldn't fit in. So I did it like this...  
> 3) Kate is going to turn so much more psychotic very soon. I mean... To hell and back levels of psychotic!  
>  And I really want to hear what you think it is. She's done something very bad, not jus the fire (which is pretty obvious, so I'm not going to insult your intelligence. But what do you Think she's done???

Everything passed in a blur for Derek. One second he saw what looked like his wife being held back after trying to drown their son, the next he's holding his sons lifeless body on the ground, and now? Now he's sitting in a hospital waiting room, holding a crap cup of coffee, while Stiles is trying to talk to the doctors, and Abbie's crying again on the seat next to him.

Derek tries his hardest not to feel guilty, but he can't. In his mind, this is all his fault. If he hadn't been a stupid prat and realised he wasn't straight in the first place, he wouldn't have slept with Erica and Jenifer, then Kate wouldn't have found out, so they wouldn't be on this holiday, so Derek wouldn't have met Stiles then Kate wouldn't have found out about what Derek was either. So, to him, it was all his fault.

He tried to find ways of blaming eveyone else, he did. But he always came back to himself.

If Stiles hadn't been just a piece of ass before, he wouldn't have moved out here to Italy and met Derek.

If Kate pulled her head out of her ass for one second and realised she had a family, she never would have tried to drown Josh.

If Abbie-

'No'. Derek was no way in Hell going to blame Abbie. None of this was her fault, or Joshs'. It was his. It was all his fault. He was the reason why Josh was in a critical condition in a foreign hospital, in a foreign country, full of foreign doctors. It was all his fault, and he would never forgive himself if Josh doesn't come through.

"Hey". Derek glanced up to see Stiles with a faultered smile. "Can I talk to you for a sec"?

He nodded. "Abbie"? She looked at him through glassy and destroyed eyes. "I'll be back in a sec. I'm just going to talk to Stiles. Don't go anywhere, and if the Doctor comes, or even a nurse, come and find me. Ok"? She nodded solemnly at him.

Derek put his cup down on the floor by the chair he was sitting on, and got up to follow Stiles around the corner. Expecting Stiles to 'cut off' their relationship, or whatever the hell it was after seeing how complicated his life suddenly got.

"So this might be a bit hard to hear, and I didn't want Abbie hearing this, but I just spoke to the Doctor. He said that Josh got quite a bit of water in his lungs. They've cleared the water, but they're not sure about the damage at the moment. They say he could have severe breathing difficulties, but what they're most worried about is lack of oxygen to the brain and more long term problems like that. He's stable, now anyway, but they want to keep him in for a couple of days to keep an eye on him".

"He's- he. Oh God, I- I can't bre-" Derek cluched his cheast, the world around him went blurry and messy, he could feel the preassure on his own lungs, but no air was going in. His heart was racing, faster and faster.

Then suddenly he felt something press against his mouth... Another mouth. He opened his eyes to see Stiles pulling away, looking around cautiously in case anyone saw their 'indecent' display.

"Wha- What was that"? Derek asked. Still cluching his chest, not wanting to release it in case something else happened.

"Panic attack. I used to get them all the time whe- Well I got them alot. I had one at school once, And one of my friends kissed me in the corridoor. You hold your breath when you kiss. Stops the attack", he expleained. Shrugging his shoulders this it's an everyday thing.

Derek just looked at him in awe. The guy practically saved his life... kind of. Tried to save Joshs' life. And recently, he'd noticed Abbies' confidence skyrocketed after a hour long chat with Stiles. It's like he's full of grace or something.

"He's stable... What's that mean"? He asked, finally releasing his grip on his chest, realising that if something does go wrong, Stiles will be there to help him.

"It means his vitals are alright at the moment, but he's still alseep. The Doctor said he should be awake in about an hour, so you can see him after they've done a few tests to check for any major problems".

"Ok... Ok" Derek repeated, not for Stiles' sake. But for his own. He needed the reasurance for himself right now.

*

The hour was the longest hour of his life. Every time he looked at the clock it seemed to be in the same place he looked five minutes ago. But on the bright side, Abbie was looking a little better. She'd got some colour back in her face after being told she could see her brother in an hour. Her eyes were no longer watered or blotched, and she didn't have the annoying urge to sniff every two seconds.

Stiles on the other hand, was freaking out.

"You alright"? Derek asked. He watched as Stiles ran his hand through his hair nervously.

"Not really. It's nothing. I just don't have a good history with hospitals. My Mo-"

"It's alright. You don't have to tell me". He tried to reassure him. He didn't want to make Stiles feel preassured into telling him.

"No. No it's fine. I need to tell someone". He sat down on the chair besides Derek, the opposite side to Abbie. "My Mom, she died of ovarian cancer twenty one years ago. Then my dad had a heart attack in a hospital when he was on duty five years ago. Then um- My baby died in a hospital too".

"You had a baby"? Derek asked. He never knew anything much about Stiles personal life. Not really. So this was just a hint at what he was missing.

"I- When I moved out here. I got lonely. I see these families with their kids everyday, and I wanted that. A family. But I knew I could never find a guy in Italy, check that, in Rome. The Vatican capital, who'd want the same thing. So I was going to try it on my own. I got talking to a company online in the US. They found a lady who was willing to do it. I went to visit her loads. Her and tadpole. I bought tonnes of stuff. Toys, bedding, tiny little clothes, The cuttest of teddys. I used to go there, even for a weekend. Sometimes just to talk to her stomache". He chuckled a little at the sentiment. "It was close to her due date. So I got eveything ready in my room for the new arrival, I got the Moses basket set up, made sure all the nappies were in the cupboard readdy, I had enough bottles, that kind of thing. Then headed back to the airport. It was going to be the last time I'd have to fly out. I was on my way to a hotel room when I got the call. She had to be rushed to the hospital. She was attacked in a mugging, stabbed in the stomache". Stiles broke down crying. Even Abbie looked scared for him. "I never even got to say goodbye to him. All I got told was that the baby was a boy and he didn't make it. I've never been back to a hospital since".

Derek grabbed Stiles by his shoulders with one arm, bringing him into a really awkward and uncomfortable hug, considering the arm rest in the way.

He kept trying to comfort him, giving him little "Sshhh's" and tight little squeezes until he settled down.

Derek look over at Abbie, about to whisper something, but as if she read his mind, she nodded. So Derek began to tell Stiles about the fire.

"Most of the ones I loved are dead too" Derek whispered in a hushed tone to Stiles. Who leant up from curling up in Dereks chest to look at him.

"I was fifteen, it had been a couple of weeks since I had been going out with Kate. And it was good, until we started to argue Just little things. Things about homework, or dates, friends... Just teenage drama. And I started to get cranky, and I brought it back home with me somedays. I knew my family were worried about me. They all were. But my Mom was the one to approach me with it. So I told her I had a girlfriend, and she was older, and we were having fights. She told me to leave her, not because of her age. But because she always said that if you're not perfectly happy in a relationship, end it. End it before you do something stupid. I was angry at my Mom when she said that. I had convinced myself that the arguments were my fault, not Kates. And that if I endded it, she would move onto someone much better than me, and I thought I loved her. So I argued with my Mom all night until eventually..." Derek dropped his head, feeling a tear roll down his left cheek, and Abbies hand on his shoulder. "I told my Mom I hated her, and ran out the house. I went to Kate's, told her what happened, and I stayed the night over there. That was the last thing I said to my Mom. That was the last time I would see any of them ever again. Last time I'd see them when they weren't ashes and dust on the ground along with the house".

Stiles leant in closer, now trying to comfort Derek aswell as himself. "I never realised. I knew you didn't like fire, but I assumed that you had a accident as a kid or something. Like you burnt your finger on a match, not... My God. How many people were there"? He asked staring into Derek deepest parts of his soul.

"Eleven. My Mom and Dad, my sister Cora, my brother Josh. Two of my grandparents, My uncle Peter and his wife, and their son David, my aunt Jo and Joshs' nanny". Derek looked down at the floor again, pulling his arm back from Stiles waist to place his fists in his lap. "I did have a sister who made it out. Laura. But she's nothing but a shell. She's in a home back in California. I try to see her when I can. But I don't even think she knows I'm there".

Both Abbie and Stiles leaned in either side of him to smother him with hugs. Their way of comfort. And it was working until Derek saw a pair of Black shoes standing oppoisite him. He looked up to see the same Doctor who was looking after Josh.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is kindda short, but I was writing this at school... and my free periods only last so long. I'll make up for it... Hopefully.

“Excuse me, Mr Hale? There’s something urgent I need to discuss with you, in private please”, in perfect English. The doctor nodded his head at Abbie and Stiles, and walked down the corridor, with Derek following obediently.

“Look sir. This will be incredibly hard for you to hear. I can only imagine what this news will do to you”. He looked down at his clipboard, shaking his head.

“What’s wrong, is it Josh? Is he alright? God, what’s happened to him”? Derek was frantic; Stiles said that he was stable, that he was going to be alright. Derek needed his son to be alright. He just needed him.

“Your son is- Josh is fine, he’s doing alright Mr Hale-“

“Derek, please”.

“Ok, He’s doing fine Derek. But as it happened, we had to use an emergence supply of O positive blood, as your blood did not match up. Mr Hale, we could not find a single strand of similar DNA between you”. Derek knees went more than weak, he collapsed, and he collapsed hard. He fell to the ground, and felt every inch of pain as it went through his body.

Then everything went dark, more so than the memories of the fire.

*

“Derek”? He faintly heard in the background.

“Dad? Daddy? Daddy please wake up. Please” And Derek did.

It took a moment for his eyes to come too in the blinding light, but when they did, he wished they hadn’t. He saw Stiles standing by the bed he was laying in, Abbie sitting on the edge of the bed, and the doctor, the same one from earlier. The same doctor who told him the worst news imaginable. The news that Josh… Was not his son.

“Please Doc-doctor. Please tell me I was dreaming”, Derek pleaded with the man, begged him to tell him, even if it was a lie. He just needed the reassurance. He could feel the tears forming in his eyes and the doctor shook his head, he looked as desperate as Derek did for it to be a dream. But it wasn’t… It was a nightmare. One he’d never wake up from.

“I’m so sorry Sir. I would never want to give news like this, but I have to, and I’m sorry for it”. Derek shook his head, to tell the doctor it was fine, and, hopefully, to shake what he had just heard from existence.

The doctor walked out as Abbie brought him back from his thoughts. “Dad? What’s he talking about? You just went off to talk, then you went pale and collapsed…”

“yeah… You looked… Derek what’s wrong, what did he tell you”? Stiles continued, as he went to sit on the other side of his bed.

“He said- He-He”.

“Hey, hey, hey, look at me” Derek had his chin forcibly pushed to look at Derek. “You’re alright! Your fine”!  And he felt the soft press of lips against his… And it was perfect, even Abbie was-

ABBIE!

Derek pulled back in shock and started at his daughter in apology, “Abbie, there… Um, I-We need to talk. Look I-“

“Dad, you don’t need to”

“Yeah, we kindda had a talk while you were out. I told you she was smart Derek”.

“Yeah, you really weren’t being discreet about it. Especially when you disappeared hours to get a drink, the same time Stiles disappeared and didn’t turn up for work”, She gave both of them the ‘I know everything look’.

“Sorry Abbie” was all he could say, before letting his head drop down.

“Don’t be, I’ve never seen you this happy before. Before we came away, you were always unhappy. I mean you smiled, but you never meant it. And on holiday, you just stopped. You stopped being unhappy, and when you smiled, you meant it”, she wrinkled her nose at him as she lit up.

“Derek”. He looked back at Stiles. “What did the doctor tell you”? Then suddenly everything came back to him, everything. And he just wanted to crawl into a ball in a corner and die!

“He said that me and Josh had no matching DNA” He gritted out trying to hold back the tears. He failed, and they fell out again. And so did Abbies, and so did Stiles’.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, so I didn't make up for the shortness of the last chapter in length, I made up for it in drama...

When Derek eventuly bucked up the courage to go into Joshs' room, he was awake but only for a few minutes, then fell asleep again. Derek wasn't sure if that was the multiple drugs he was puming through his body, or just typical josh. He sat by his bed, watching him. It was funny, Derek thought, that only a few days ago, they were cuddling on the couch, celebrating his twelfth birthday, and now they're here... This little boy he had raised and loved with every fibre of his being, more than anything he could ever contemplate, and then he's told that that very boy wasn't his, that he wasn't his son.

Derek was distraught to say the least. He kept thinking the worst. Would Josh want him as a father anymore? Would he want to find his real dad? Should he stick around for Josh, even if he did find his real dad? All these things, these horrible, horrible thoughts ran round his skull. Dancing on his worst memories. He wanted to push them out, just remove them from existance. But they weren't going anywhere, it was the stone cold truth that Josh wasn't his son, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Every now and again Stiles or Abbie would wonder in to see how Josh was doing, or how Derek was handling things. They were being causious of him, and he hated it. It just brought back memories of everyone he knew after the fire. How they baked him food, or how he got stuff 'on the house' from the local stores and how people told him how sorry they were... But they didn't understand. They hadn't just lost nearly every single member of their entire family in less than an hour. They didn't understand one bit, and he hated how much they acted as if they did. He just wanted them to stop. All of them!

He was brought out of his thoughts when he heard a commotion in the hallway, just outside of Joshs' room. He got up out of the chair, and when he opended the door, he saw Stiles on the floor, with a bloodied lip, and Kate standing over him. Two police officers came running down the hall and restrained her, but it didnt stop her from yelling at him.

"DEREK" she screamed at his face. "HOW COULD YOU!!! YOU'VE RUINED THIS FAMILY. YOU'VE RUINED ME" Her face was red hot, and angry.

"HOW COULD I"? Derek shouted back. He was so sick and tired of Kates' bullshit, he had had it! For good this time. he was getting out of this marriage if it killed him. He could barley look at her. "For twelve years. Twelve years you've lied to me. Lied to my face for TWELVE FUCKING YEARS"! Derek wasn't a huge swearer. Especially in front of his kids. But there was no way he could stop himself now.

Kates face fell in realisation. "How- h-" she squeaked, so quiet that he could barely hear her.

"How? Well when you decided to try and murder him by drowning our- him in a public pool, they had to do an operation to save his life. HIS LIFE KATE. And my blood didn't match up. NOTHING MATCHED UP"! Derek was full on furious now, he was about to lunge at her until the police men pulled kate back, and a doctor and nurse pulled Derek down, as Abbie helped Stiles up and away from the middle of it.

"You were never meant to know". She wept, forcing the words out as if it was pure accident she was saying them now.

"Oh wasn't i? Well I wonder why" He countered sarcastically. "Who is it then"? he asked, in full calmness. Feeling the need to know who the guy was.

"Who is what"? she was still struggling to get out of the tight hold of the policemen, but it was pointless.

"The father, who is the father"?

"I don't- I don't know" she admitted, letting her head fall even further.

"YOU DONT KNOW? how the hell can you not know who the father of your child is. Are you that much of a whore that you sleep with so many men that you can't remember which one it is. Or did you suddenly get amnesia. Or how about you-"

"HE ISN'T MINE"!!! She screamed at him at the top of her lungs. Even the doctors and police, and a few other patients who had come out of their rooms for a peek felt the sudden shudder in her voice. Derek will feel bad for calling Kate a whore infront of Abbie, later though, when he can make sense of everything.

"What the fuck do you mean he's not yours"?

"Maybe you two should go somewhere a little bit more private now". Derek heard the English speaking doctor say behind him. He was right. This was getting far too public for his liking. But Kate was having none of it.

"I-I..." She gave one final push, amd freed her arms from the police's grip, and just stared at him. "You always wanted this perfect family. And half way through carrying the baby, I lost it. And I couldn't tell you. So I went to private doctors appointments to talk about what to do... I was going to have to give birth to that baby knowing it was dead. Do you have any idea how that felt? Knowing that I was going to have to go home with a flat stomache then explain to you how there was no baby... I couldn't do that Derek. Despite what you may think, i'm not completely heartless". Derek scoffed. "Then I saw him... I had had the operation to have it removed by C section, so I was hight on drugs, and he was just there... I don't even remember the name. He was a new born, I could tell. He was all red and blotchy, and he smelled like fresh blood, just like a newborn. He was perfect. There were no doctors around either... so I just... I-"

"You took him". Derek finished for her, disgusted in her.

"I don't remeber the name. But I remeber the number of the crib he was in. 225-77-"

"21B". Derek heard a pained voice next to him. He saw Stiles in tears... That's when it hit him. Josh was Stiles' son. The one that died, that he couldn't see, not even to say goodbye too. That was his son. Not Dereks...

"Dad". Everyone turned to the pale and fragile boy in the doors entrance. Noticing the tears in his eyes, Derek new he'd heard, He'd heard everything!


End file.
